Author and Wrong Speak Publishing founder Adam B. Coleman joined Chicago’s Morning Answer with Dan Proft and Amy Jacobson for a deeply personal and thought-provoking conversation about the long-term effects of family separation, single parenthood, and the cultural narratives that often discourage accountability.
Coleman, whose new book The Children We Left Behind: How Western Culture Rationalizes Family Separation and Ignores the Pain of Child Neglect has sparked important discussions, shared his own experience growing up without a father and how it shaped his outlook on manhood, fatherhood, and emotional survival.
Raised by a single mother after his father—who was married to someone else—became largely absent, Coleman said he rarely heard from his dad. By the time his son was born when Coleman was 21, he knew he had to do things differently.
“I didn’t want to be my father,” he said. But that decision wasn’t as simple in execution. Without a role model to emulate, he had to build his own path forward, learning fatherhood through effort, reflection, and commitment. His son, now 19, is thriving—something Coleman attributes to being a consistent, active presence in his life.
Though Coleman and his son’s mother never married, he said they maintained a respectful and cooperative co-parenting relationship. This structure, he emphasized, was key in providing his son with the stability Coleman himself never had.
The conversation turned candid as Coleman described the toll his own childhood had taken—depression, low self-esteem, suicidal ideation, and a mental health hospitalization at age eight. For years, he buried those memories, only to have them resurface decades later when triggered by a conversation with his sister. He found healing through therapy and a determination to rebuild his life, both for himself and his son.
His personal journey, however, is a springboard to a broader critique. Coleman challenged the societal trend of avoiding criticism of broken families for fear of offending parents or justifying poor choices. He described the cultural refrain of “accept and move on” as a mechanism to shut down honest dialogue about the consequences of family breakdown.
“We applaud single parenthood but ignore the strife that comes with it,” he said. “No one wants to admit that it’s not the best strategy for raising children.”
Coleman doesn’t discount the effort of single parents, many of whom work tirelessly and sacrifice greatly. But he stresses that acknowledging the struggle—and the avoidable harm caused by unstable or absent parenting—is critical if society is to change course.
Proft and Jacobson noted the compelling data on outcomes for children from single-parent homes—higher risks for poverty, mental health issues, and incarceration—but Coleman argued that real change begins with storytelling from those who lived it. That’s the goal of The Children We Left Behind, which blends personal narrative with cultural critique to give a voice to those affected and offer a wake-up call to adults avoiding accountability.
Coleman also revealed that the book led to some healing in his own family. He had honest conversations with his mother, who had not known he was writing it until late in the process. Their exchange, he said, brought them closer.
Now 40, Coleman has become an advocate for men trying to re-enter their children’s lives and urges them not to give up. “Every kid wants a relationship with their parents,” he said. His mission through Wrong Speak Publishing is to elevate these underrepresented voices, challenge prevailing narratives, and create space for hard—but necessary—conversations.
For those interested in The Children We Left Behind or in learning more about Wrong Speak Publishing, visit wrongspeak.net.
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash