A new cultural critique is emerging from author and publisher Adam Coleman, who joined Dan Proft on Chicago’s Morning Answer to discuss how digital culture and family-court norms are reshaping relationships between men and women. Coleman, founder of Wrong Speak Publishing and author of The Children We Left Behind, argues that both the internet and modern legal incentives are eroding trust, discouraging marriage, and pushing Western societies toward what Proft called “a race to the bottom.”
The conversation ranged from the fallout of British family-court reforms to the swirling online commentary that encourages men and women alike to see relationships as transactional rather than emotional or meaningful.
Family Courts and the Decline of Fatherhood
The interview opened with news out of the United Kingdom: family courts are preparing to abandon the long-standing presumption that maintaining contact with both parents is in a child’s best interest. Critics warn that the change—celebrated by activist groups as a victory—will make it easier to exclude fathers from their children’s lives based on little more than accusation.
Coleman, whose work focuses on fatherlessness and family stability, wasn’t surprised.
“I kind of figured it was already happening,” he said, noting that men navigating custody disputes frequently encounter false accusations and systemic bias. While acknowledging that abuse cases are real and serious, he warned that they are the “car crashes” that dominate public attention while overshadowing the far more common stories of loving, involved fathers.
The larger trend, he believes, reflects a cultural shift that views fathers as optional, interchangeable—or even harmful. He cautioned that such views undermine children’s well-being and accelerate the fragmentation of families across the West.
Online Culture: Teaching Men and Women to Distrust Each Other
Turning to dating and modern relationships, Coleman described an online environment that actively pits men and women against one another. Influencers on both sides, he said, promote cynicism: men are told to exploit women for sex, and women are told to exploit men for money or attention.
“It teaches the opposite sex to be as sociopathic as possible whenever they’re interacting,” Coleman said.
Instead of commitment, love, or companionship, internet dating culture encourages users to approach relationships with suspicion and self-interest. Proft observed that this mirrors a broader cultural trend that reduces everything to transactional exchanges. Coleman agreed, saying it has created a generation of people who fear vulnerability and lack models of enduring partnership.
A Case for Friendship First
Coleman’s counterargument is rooted in his own marriage, which he spoke about with unusual warmth and simplicity. He met his wife through a friend and emphasized that, before romance, they built a genuine friendship.
“The core of our relationship is we’re friends,” he said. “We like hanging out with each other.”
This foundation, he explained, stabilizes their relationship when disagreements arise. Arguments are resolved without name-calling, point-scoring, or emotional theatrics. Each speaks while the other listens, and the issue is put to rest so they can return to what matters: enjoying life together.
He urged young people to prioritize friendship, shared values, and real-world social circles over algorithm-driven dating apps. Many of the longest, happiest marriages, he noted, began in person—not online.
Marriage, Money, and the Fear of Commitment
Proft raised another common modern anxiety: the belief that one must be financially “set” before getting married. Coleman dismissed that as a false barrier for most couples.
“There’s no shame in wanting someone,” he said, encouraging singles to be open with friends and acquaintances about their desire to meet a partner. Expanding one’s social network, he argued, offers far better odds than relying entirely on apps or TikTok philosophies.
Marriage, Coleman said, is not about achieving perfection before committing—it’s about growing with someone who helps you become better over time.
A Countercultural Message in a Transactional Age
As discussions about dating, marriage, and family become more polarized, Coleman’s message stood out for its optimism. He warned against the internet voices urging bitterness, vengeance, and avoidance—attitudes he believes are directly contributing to declining marriage rates and rising loneliness.
Instead, he called for a return to simple, enduring truths: kindness, patience, commitment, and genuine human connection.
“Like the person you’re with,” he said. “It sounds crazy, but it works.”
Coleman’s work and writing continue to push back against cultural forces he believes are devaluing both fatherhood and family life—issues he says societies ignore at their own peril.