As America grapples with plunging birth rates and the Trump administration reportedly considers a $5,000 “baby bonus” to incentivize procreation, bestselling author Lionel Shriver says policymakers are missing the point. The problem isn’t financial—it’s cultural.
Appearing on Chicago’s Morning Answer with Dan Proft and Amy Jacobson, Shriver—whose latest novel Mania tackles themes of societal irrationality—offered a candid and often humorous take on marriage, fertility, and why women today can’t seem to find men they don’t hold in contempt.
No, You Can’t Bribe People to Have Babies
While governments from East Asia to Western Europe scramble to reverse demographic decline with tax breaks and cash bonuses, Shriver says such efforts are mostly ineffective.
“People don’t have children to make money,” she explained. “Government baby bonuses don’t make a dent in birth rates over time.”
The solution, she believes, must be cultural. That means promoting the value of marriage and family—not just financially supporting it.
Marriage Is Down, Contempt Is Up
Shriver pointed to a revealing stat: in 2022, half of U.S. women between ages 18 and 40 were neither married nor cohabiting, a number that’s risen sharply over the last two decades. That demographic shift matters, she argued, because married people are more likely to have children.
So why the reluctance to marry?
“Women are finding it hard to find men they don’t hold in contempt,” Shriver said bluntly.
She cited two primary reasons for the disconnect: political and educational divides. Younger women lean increasingly left, while men skew more conservative. That ideological mismatch is often a dealbreaker in today’s hyper-polarized culture. At the same time, women are now outpacing men in educational attainment, and many aren’t interested in “marrying down.”
“The dating pool doesn’t meet their standards,” Shriver said.
The Romance of Realism
Despite her early skepticism of marriage—nurtured during her boomer youth and reinforced by the sexual revolution—Shriver eventually tied the knot at 46. Her take on matrimony is anything but sentimental, and perhaps that’s the point.
“Marriage is only great when you find the right person,” she said. “But it’s worth taking the risk.”
In a nod to the everyday rhythms of a long-term relationship, Shriver described a dynamic that many can relate to: “I like it when my husband goes away, and I like it when he comes back.”
Why We Need Fewer Activists and More Rom-Coms
The cultural drift away from marriage, Shriver said, is partly the result of storytelling. Marriage isn’t portrayed as aspirational anymore—at least not in popular culture.
“There’s nothing duller than people who are happy,” she joked, noting that even in novels and movies, a stable, content marriage often marks the end of the story—or the calm before disaster.
Her remedy? Bring back the romantic comedy. Reboot shows like The Dick Van Dyke Show that celebrated companionship, mutual respect, and the joys of a shared life.
A Better Cultural Script
Shriver also took a swipe at the race-obsessed rhetoric around issues like adoption and fertility. Referencing recent remarks by The View’s Sunny Hostin and Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg, she dismissed their claims as “race hustling” disguised as compassion.
“Most black parents want to adopt black children. Most white parents want to adopt white children,” she said, noting that such preferences are common and not necessarily racist.
In her view, identity politics and hyper-individualism have poisoned the well when it comes to love, commitment, and family.
The Path Forward
So what’s the answer to falling birth rates and fading marriage licenses?
Start with telling better stories, Shriver said—ones that highlight the emotional and social rewards of long-term commitment. While financial incentives may help on the margins, what’s really needed is a cultural reset.
“Marriage isn’t just a personal choice. It has huge social implications,” she said. “Maybe we just need to talk it up more.”
And perhaps, after decades of dismissing tradition, it’s time for society to rediscover that commitment and connection—not cash—are the true cornerstones of family.
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Lionel Shriver is the author of Mania: A Novel and We Need to Talk About Kevin. Her writing regularly appears in publications such as The Spectator and The Wall Street Journal.